February - March 2008
management
Ho‘okipa
and the Giving of Aloha
By Rosa Say
Is the hospitality of aloha disappearing?
We all yearn for more hospitality, for we know it to be a strong, very genuine signal of the aloha spirit waiting for us within a new relationship, whether that relationship is with a person, a team, a neighborhood, a business, or an entire society.
When hospitality is present we feel welcomed and wanted, and we are more willing to be fully involved in the human interactions of life, for they become so rewarding.
So what can we do, to help hospitality be more vibrant again?
How can we savor it more, and crave it less?
For there to be ho‘okipa, the hospitality of aloha, our giving
of it must be unconditional. Unconditional means there are absolutely
no strings attached. We are obsessed with giving it, not with receiving
it. We trust that if we concentrate on giving, abundance will be created,
more than enough for us all.
Imagine that you are standing in front of a beautiful woman, her smile
widening as she sees you. She intends to give you a flower lei, but it
is gently and patiently held, her hands resting well below her relaxed
shoulders so she can be fully present for you. Her first gift, her first
genuine desire, is that you receive the just-for-you intention of her
smile.
She waits, so you will connect with her eyes, eyes seeking to share warmth, sincerity, and the complete aloha bubbling effervescently within her countenance. You are in one of our wonderful Hawai‘i places, green and verdant, but place has become a background now fuzzy and unimportant; all the focus is on the breadth of the woman’s grace in your presence, and the giving of her smile to you.
She is there for you, and for no other reason.
You soon realize that the lei is not really the gift; it is the lasting reminder you will take with you. It remains so you can keep holding that moment of aloha she had given you before the lei was placed around your shoulders, so that its’ beautiful scent could entice your own aloha spirit to come out and play.
However by then, it might very well be that the woman is gone, an artist of ho‘okipa who has already left her mark. She did not have to wait for you to receive completely, because she had already given completely. Her giving has been unconditional, and her ho‘okipa gloriously celebrated. You have just been in the presence of Mea Ho‘okipa, that rare person whose ho‘ohana it is to share hospitality with complete giving.
Now I take you back to your work, your business, as well as within your life. How much is unconditionally given in these arenas?
My challenge to all of you this month, is that we immediately set about changing that sad state of affairs, and that we do so to become Mea Ho‘okipa in whatever part of the world we visit or reside in. Like aloha, ho‘okipa is not reserved for Hawai‘i; I have experienced it in many different places in the extensive traveling I do. However just as in Hawai‘i, there should be much more; as easily as it can be created and shared, too few of us have enough hospitality in our day. Seize a leadership role in teaching others what ho‘okipa, the art of true hospitality really is. We do so with our own good example living and working with aloha.
Rosa
Say is the author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal
Values to the Art of Business. She is the founder of Say Leadership Coaching
company dedicated to bringing nobility to the working arts of management
and leadership. Visit Rosa at www.managingwithaloha.com.
